A Courageous Heart in Waiting
When you hear the Word waiting, what do you think of? Naturally, you probably think of please God no, patience, stuck in traffic or a fast food line, and perhaps the doctor's office. There are many things I've equated waiting to that honestly have nothing to do with God and are definitely not my preference. If we are being honest, I don't think any human being likes the idea or reality of waiting. I want what I want now, what's the point of waiting anyway? Well, God has a lot to say about waiting. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I'm in a waiting season. It feels tiresome and dreadful most days if I'm being for real. At first, I was anxious and sometimes expectant. I believe now the words that can describe my overarching emotions are tired but consistent.
In reading the book, "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality," by Peter Scazzero, I've become more in touch with my emotions. I now realize that my emotions don't threaten my faith, and admitting them frees me. Often, as Christians, we can fall into the trap of thinking that admitting our current negative emotional state will bind us when the greatest way to experience God's help is by admitting your weakness and lack of faith. In studying the Bible and understanding what's required to remain expectant in a season of waiting, I know that waiting requires strength from the Lord. And in partnership with divine strength, God commands us to be courageous amid our seasons of waiting. I first realized this great revelation in Psalm 27:13-14.
“I would have despaired had I not believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for and confidently expect the LORD: Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for and confidently expect the LORD.” – Psalm 27:13-14
This sentiment is shared in other scriptures, too, like Psalm 31:23, which says, "Be strong and let your hearts take courage, all you who wait for and confidently expect the Lord."
Psalm 37:7 also says, "Quiet your heart in his presence and wait patiently for YAHWEH. And don't think for a moment that the wicked, in their prosperity, are better off than you." The Passion Translation on the Bible app breaks down the root of the word wait as "to whirl" or "to be in labor [give birth]." May I propose that in this season, you are in labor, and the impatience you feel are the contractions of your purpose, crying out for expression. And some of us have been in labor for a long time. We believed in a quick and easy delivery; in fact, we prayed for it. We believed, prayer journaled and gave offerings for it. And yet here we stand, still harshly in labor with no baby to show for our efforts.
God, when is my due date?
I recently told one of my friends about an interaction I had with God. I said, "God, who is my situation benefitting? No really. How is this helping anyone? Surely, you'd get better usage out of me if you answered my prayer." I think God laughs at me sometimes! Of course, I can't see the full picture and entirety of what He's doing behind the scenes. When your prayers go unanswered, it can make you feel defeated and ashamed, especially if you have an audience to look in on your apparent loss. In my opinion, God allows an audience to view our worst so that He can get the glory when we are at our best.
The latter portion of Psalm 37:7 tells us not to think for a moment that those who are wicked (outside of the will and ways of Christ) are better off than us. Okay, be honest! I know you've thought that before. The people in the world have soft lives. They're in their nice penthouses and driving around in expensive cars. They have those top-of-the-line jobs and seemingly have ease in finding romantic relationships. They LOOK good. And a big emphasis on LOOK. Often, we can only access their lives based on what they tell us or show on social media. However, the truth is that people only show us what they want us to see. It's not often that they will reveal their worst moments – like how depression may be eating them alive or the emptiness they feel because of a lack of identity and assurance in their Creator.
Mark 8:36 AMP says, "For what does it benefit a man to gain the whole world [with all its pleasures], and forfeit his soul?" Many of us are praying for the worldly pleasures and things of this world like a job, house, car, or perhaps a marriage, children, etc. But God tells us that His Kingdom's purpose is much more powerful than our current needs. Here's the truth: God already knows what you need and your greatest heart's desires. He understands your situation and why your prayer request is troubling you; however, in the words of my Pastor, "God is interested in who you become." If answering your prayers will prevent you from becoming the person God called you to be, He will delay your answers. And that's the hard truth.
Defining the Courageous Heart
Believe it or not, there's a way that we must wait as Believers. There's an excellent way to wait on the Lord – and it's by remaining courageous and expectant. According to the dictionary, courage is the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear. Another definition remarks on what it means to have the courage of one's convictions: to act in accordance with one's beliefs, especially despite criticism.
The question I asked God is, what does courage have to do with waiting? Even in the scriptures above, we're told to be strong and courageous…but why? Waiting on the Lord requires your courage because FAITH IS COURAGEOUS. The truth is that your reality will often challenge the promise, prophetic word, or prayer you are believing for. You may be believing for a car, but perhaps your credit score is too low to get approved. You may be believing for a house, but you only make enough to pay bills and are unable to save for a downpayment. You may believe to graduate at the top of your class, but there's one subject you don't understand no matter how hard you try. Courage breeds perseverance, tenacity, and a deep sense of dedication to the end result. Courage moves you to live by your conviction despite the naysayers. The words and opinions of others will often challenge your courage. This may be tough, especially if you've struggled with people-pleasing and affirmation addiction.
This season, I've learned that courage doesn't always look the same. Beyond courage, intimacy with God doesn't look the same when you're facing adversity. Courage and intimacy with God can take on the forms of whisper prayers, overflowing tears, or prayer journaling. Courage even may mean you remain silent when your soul longs to complain and sulk. Courage isn't 'I'm so strong that the pain and anguish of my situation doesn't get to me.' In fact, it's the opposite – Courage in the life of a Christian in waiting is "Lord, despite the odds, I still trust in you. I want to give up right now, but I know you will do exactly what you said. God, I'm tired of waiting, please give me the strength to remain patient." I believe courage is expressing your weakness so that the Lord can undergird you with His strength.
There's been many moments when I've despised my weaknesses. Why is this still frustrating to me? Why can't I not care? And there have been other moments when the words of man pierced my heart so deeply. Additionally, there have been more times than I can count that I've felt misunderstood in this season simply because I know what I'm going through is an exclusive experience. Here's the thing – YOU MUST WALK OUT YOUR WAITING SEASON WITH GOD. And sometimes, that means you'll be walking with Him alone.
How can we wait well?
If you haven't realized this yet, let me be the one to tell you: waiting on the Lord is HARD. It's not easy to wait. It will never be easy because we want what we want NOW. But I've realized that waiting well can happen by doing one thing – remaining faithful to spiritual disciplines. Now, hear me out… I know you might be rolling your eyes and sighing, but this is, in fact, tried and true. Whenever you face a storm in life, the first thing to go is often your spiritual disciplines... You get so busy with your anxious thoughts that you forget to pray. You are rattling off to your friend in complaining about your situation that you no longer have time to read your Bible. Oh, and Church? Why not just watch on the live stream. Keep serving, with my situation? Absolutely not – I might as well take a break. I don't have the capacity... It's so easy to forget your first love while you wait. To some extent, our lackadaisical attitude towards our relationship with God and spiritual disciplines can be a temper tantrum. If God isn't giving me what I want, why should I still seek, serve, and love Him in the capacity He desires? If He's not giving me what I want, why should I give Him what He wants? Whew – If you find yourself in this place, I want you to know that you're treading on dangerous territory, and destruction is near. The enemy can easily ensnare the Believer, who decides to leave covering. (literally by quitting church and fellowship, spiritually by deciding to disconnect from God intentionally or unintentionally) On the other hand, I'd like you to understand this, and I say it all the time: God has CAPACITY for your complex emotions.
I know you know the Word; in fact, let me speak for myself. I know the Word; however, there have been days in my waiting season when I said, "God, I know you don't fail, but I feel like you're failing me. I'm disappointed with my life and situation. I'm upset that you've placed me in this predicament, and I truly don't understand. Why are you doing this to me? What do you want from me that I'm not doing?" I'm sure I've said some version of one of these statements weekly over the past few months. And guess what? I'm human, and SO ARE YOU! It occurred to me earlier today that God isn't rejoicing in my pain. He's not happy that I'm unhappy. I'm not the evil one He's trying to reign justice on. Our Heavenly Father isn't rejoicing while we cry our hearts out due to disappointment, failed expectations, and feeling like our prayers have been neglected. Think about this: what do parents instinctively do when their baby cries? They run to them. They pick them up and comfort them. However, think about when the baby is learning to walk. Although the parents put safeguards around to make sure their baby isn't extremely hurt, they do expect their baby to fall in attempting to walk. And when the baby does fall, it's possible they will allow the baby to get up again by itself, and hopefully try walking again. Eventually, the baby will be running, so much so that the parents have to catch up to them! Like parents and babies in the natural, God is like this with us. God isn't rejoicing in our "fall" or grief concerning what we're waiting for. God is allowing us to go through this process and season because He knows that by His strength and power, we can get back up – and when we do, we will be running in our faith, running with our blessings, running and sharing our testimony. In short, God will get the glory from our current grievance.
A few of the spiritual disciplines that I've been incorporating and practicing in my waiting season are:
Prayer – including prayer journaling, intercession, and joining my church's prayer line
Bible Reading – particularly reading and focusing on scriptures that uplift and encourage me to remain strong and courageous in the Lord
Bible Study – strategically studying various books and characters of the Bible, which further helps me understand God's character
Meditation – this entails meditating on a particular scripture and continuing to speak and pray on it over a few days or weeks
Devotional – reading my daily devotional is a part of my routine for beginning my day with God
Worship – incorporating worship songs and instrumentals throughout my day creates an atmosphere of trust and reliance on the Lord
Stillness – being still and quiet, which allows the Lord to speak to me and my soul to remain available and calm in His presence
These are a few ways I intentionally maintain and grow in my spiritual disciplines. In sharing all of these, I'd like to highlight two things every Believer can benefit from in their waiting season:
Be still. Many books I've been reading lately have reiterated this point, so I genuinely believe that the Holy Spirit is ministering loudly to me about remaining still and relying on Him to come through on my behalf. And when I say stillness, I mean LITERALLY still. Sometimes, we're so busy speaking to God that we forget it's a relationship and two-way communication. God wants to talk to you, too! The revelations and instructions concerning your life and situation aren't reserved for Pastors and Prophets – The Holy Spirit has something to say TO YOU! If you're struggling with being still, I want you to set your timer for five minutes and pray this one sentence, "Holy Spirit, speak to me, I'm listening." And wait. If you hear nothing, it's okay. Come back tomorrow and do it all over again. Surely, one day, you will hear a small voice in your stillness.
Remain in Godly Community, and by Godly Community, I mean CHURCH! Go to church. Serve at church. There's no way you can wait expectantly if you aren't remaining connected to your Godly community. Fellowship keeps you grounded and accountable. If you refuse to remain in the place where your soul is fed, it's inevitable to grow weary and fearful while you wait on the Lord. Personally, I have no idea where I'd be in this season had I not been surrounded by such a great community and faithfully serving at church!
In sharing all of this, I want you also to take note of one thing that's evident in two scriptures:
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." – Ephesians 6:12 NIV
"Then he said to me, "Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand, and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words. But the prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me twenty-one days..." – Daniel 10:12-13 NKJV
Please understand that you are on the enemy's radar. Even in the famous story concerning Job, Job was afflicted because the Lord suggested Him for the enemy's troubling due to Job's righteousness and consistency in the Lord. The reason you're facing your current afflictions may be because you've been doing something right and living righteously. Remember, if one strong wind causes you to fall, you were never rooted in the first place. Do not allow life's storms to take you out of the ways and will of God. Remain in Christ! Don't drift! Just like we're coming up against spiritual forces, we must employ the spiritual weapons found in our spiritual disciplines. Now is not the time to grow lazy or weary! You must know the Lord has heard your prayers and heart's cries despite the contention in your waiting season!
Lastly, I'd like to pray for you:
May the Lord God Almighty keep you in perfect peace. May He grant you the grace to wait on Him and remain in His presence without faltering. I pray the enemy will never be victorious concerning you and your story. May your testimony far outweigh the difficulties of your current test. And greatest of all, on the other side of this fire, may you come out as refined gold, shining brightly for the Master's use. In Jesus' Mighty Name, Amen!
Scriptures to Meditate on While You Wait
"And then, after your brief suffering, the God of all loving grace, who has called you to share in his eternal glory in Christ, will personally and powerfully restore you and make you stronger than ever. Yes, he will set you firmly in place and build you up." – 1 Peter 5:10 TPT
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." – James 1:2-4 ESV
"All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy." – Romans 8:22-25 MSG
Also, while writing this blog, I came across this song that truly encouraged me, and I pray it does the same for you: You Make All Things Beautiful – Victor Thompson (https://youtu.be/2-_HslW_bew?si=I5ITmruRYUNeXplF)
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