Post-Graduation Woes: Transitions, Delay & Tears

I am smack dab in the middle of enduring one of the greatest transitions of my young life thus far. With the post-graduation thrills far spent, life has settled in, and I'm still processing what this all means.

This time last year, I was entering my senior year of college. I was soon to start RA training for my second year in a row and expectant for one of my greatest internships yet. I was slightly nervous to be applying to graduate film programs in NYC, where I'd continue my studies in pursuit of becoming a Film Director. I planned to ace senior year, take full advantage of my internship, apply and get into film school, graduate, and start my film program in NYC. That was my plan. I didn't know how all of it would happen, and part of me was nervous and worried if I was in the plan of God concerning graduate studies.

Well... I applied to two graduate film programs and got denied. In February of 2023, I began applying to full-time roles, in hopes of graduating with a secured position. Denial, after denial... I'd hoped that May would be the month, right when graduation took place I'd get a full-time role in a knick of time. So that didn't happen... I graduated with nothing. This was, or is, or has been a major blow — I can say this is still a blow even in the present tense because the feelings are nearly the same. I graduated after doing five major internships with nothing? Really God? Wow.

After my last internship, I took about three weeks off. I thought I'd rest and stay at home, recover. School caused me major burnout due to me taking on so many important roles at once while pursuing my degree. I was an RA, intern, full-time student, servant at church, and still had to show up as a daughter, friend, etc. I was burnt out! But to go from doing everything, finding great worth and credibility in my work to nothing...? I'm still processing it, as you can see.

In June, I took up a seasonal job to help me financially while searching for full-time career roles. I thought a job would be good for me, helping me get out of the house and out of my head. I don't know, hopefully, that'd make a difference, right...

Throughout this transition process, I've learned and reflected on a lot. First of all, my life currently FEELS, and when I say feels, I mean it, like a delay. Although, I know I'm not delayed. My mom keeps telling me this whole process is normal. I know it's normal, but I thought I superseded normal like God, Shouldn't I be the exception? Aren't I your favorite? Anyways, it feels like a delay. However, it's not. It's simply PROCESS! I think God is using this season to whisper into my ears, will you still trust me if...?

The answer is God, yes I trust you. And you've sort of given me no real other choice but to trust you, so I guess yes... I think this process has challenged my faith. Over the last few months, I've had temper tantrums, pity parties, breakdowns, and attitudes. It's almost as though God is trying to get the childishness out of my faith and cause me to mature.

So far, I've covered transitions and delay. Now onto tears... oh, I've cried and cried, and boohoo ugly cried. Because of disappointment, failed expectations, and dreams deferred. I thought I had this all under control, I had a plan. Back to what I've learned in all of this —

As Christians, we can't manipulate the hand or plan of God. God's plan is His plan, and everything takes place in His timing.

Proverbs 3:5-6 MSG puts it beautifully, "Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all."

And another scripture I'm holding onto is Psalm 27:14 TPT, "Here's what I've learned through it all: Don't give up; don't be impatient; be entwined as one with the Lord. Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope. Yes, keep on waiting—for he will never disappoint you!"

God isn't setting me up for disappointment. My path may look different than my peers but it's because He designed me differently. My testimony won't be theirs, and that's okay. Recently I was saying to myself "My prayer point is becoming my praise report." Sometimes the only way you can encounter God in a new way is if you face a new problem or storm. Hannah never would've known El Roi, the God who sees, unless she first felt forgotten, and was desperate to the point of having an "I'm tired of being tired" attitude by getting on her knees in prayer. Nor would Sarah have known that God would make her laugh through the fulfillment of her own Isaac had He not closed her womb for a brief moment.

As 1 Peter 5:10 NKJV says, "But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you."

The prerequisite to your settling, breakthrough, and encounter is suffering, brief delay, absence of satisfaction, and momentary distress. Many of us desire an encounter without an experience. We'd simply be robbing God for an encounter and blessing we have no backing or stamina to sustain.

No amount of tears, complaining, and blatant refusal can wipe away our necessary processing. All of this has a purpose. Processing and trials give our blessings context. The processing serves as a platform for God to do greater works. The poorest person is an unprocessed one. May I submit to you that your transitionary, seemingly delayed process is God's platform for your next breakthrough? Of what use is a testimony without a test?

So, as for my current processing, I'm still waiting. It's frustrating and often confusing. But I keep reminding myself that all I see isn't all there is. No matter how frustrating my current season is, it has to pass – and it will. For now, I wait expectantly, knowing that what's to come is greater than what is and I'm on time in the perfect will of God.

God hasn't changed His mind about you or His plans concerning your future simply because it's taking longer than you'd like it to. There's a purpose in this process, don't forget it!